Drums and wires often DO speak louder than words, and in that age-old teen spirit I hereby present a wholly chronological, but admittedly entirely objective list of the songs I tend to put on whenever I put down the thesaurus and let my EARS do the thinking……

“THE HAPPY ORGAN” (Dave “Baby” Cortez, 1959)
No less an instrumental figure as Tom Snyder Himself oft-times used this brilliant piece of wordless genius during commercial breaks on his old NBC “Tomorrow” show away back when. And if that isn’t tribute enough to Dave and his Happy O, then I can only state that the guitar break too (…which the engineer can still be heard boosting in volume after it’s already half over!) stands right up there alongside Dave Davies or even Link Wray at their knitting-needle-through-speaker-cone filthiest. Oh yes! And did I mention it’s got a good beat, and you sure CAN dance to it too?

“SLEEP WALK” (Santo and Johnny, 1959)
Here’s a perfect example of a piece of music which would only be lessened lest words of ANY sort get in the way. Moody, evocative, dreamy and entirely other-worldly – as only the best of melodies should be – “Sleep Walk” continues to positively spook me to this very day, after countless close listens …and only several viewings of that “La Bamba” movie, I’ll have you know. Yes, beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Not to mention the kind of concoction Chris Isaak, The Mavericks, nor even Los Lobos have come anywhere near re-creating since.

“TELSTAR” (The Tornados, 1962)
Within seconds of this masterpiece’s launch, I am immediately transported back to my cousin’s rec room where, as an extremely impressionable young tyke, I’d often sneak in order to watch all the big guys (and girls) twist the night away clutching their seven-cent Coca-Cola’s. But Camelot-vintage nostalgia aside, four full decades have done little to antiquate this possibly greatest of all Joe Meek productions. A majestically atmospheric and regally inspiring creation from start to sci-fi finish, “Telstar” just so also happens to be the first British rock ‘n’ roll record to EVER top the Yankee charts, I’ll have you all know!

“THE ROCKING SURFER” (The Beach Boys, 1963)
Alotta people simply do not understand that Brian Wilson, never exactly the strongest lyricist on the block, very very often just lets his music do the talking for him. Why, from their very earliest daze as young Deltone worshippers, lead guitarer Carl would lead his brotherly band through some of the wildest, reverb-soaked, non-vocal Stratocastering this side of the Balboa Ballroom. Along those exact torrid lines, “The R.S.” remains my own personal fave amongst the Boys’ many instrumental slices. With Brian’s very own happy organ setting a marvelous playtime mood, once again we herein hear proof entirely positive that surf-rock truly IS the Father of the Garage.

“SHINDIG” (The Shadows, 1963)
Jealous sideswiping from the early Beatles aside (ie: “Cry For A Shadow”), Hank Marvin & Co. best stepped out from behind their frontman Cliff Richard’s, um, shadow with this blazing two-minutes-some of wordless Merseybeat wonder …with just enough a dash of Ventures to keep things electrically twangful. PS: And didja know “Shindig” mastermind (and the REAL inventor of MTV, while we’re at it) Jack Good more or less named his classic ABC-TV series after THIS very song? Why he didn’t bother using it as the show’s weekly on-air theme too has always intrigued me, as I bet the Shindogs could’ve done a mean version themselves.

“YOU CAN’T SIT DOWN” (Paul Revere & The Raiders, 1965)
As Sundazed’s brand-spanking “Mojo Workout!” retrospective amply illustrates, Columbia Records (under the knowledgeable ears of no less than Rip Chords Bruce Johnston and Terry Melcher) hadn’t much of a clue – not to mention budget – when they came to cut the Pacific Northwest’s rockingest’s debut major-label long-player. So what da heck! They just set the band up in the corner of Columbia’s Hollywood studio, brought in a few mics, friends and Crisco tubs, pressed the “Record” button and let Madman Marcus Lindsay and the boys have at it til the tape all ran out. Lo and behold, the Raiders’ longtime set opener “You Can’t Sit Down” also became Track One Side One on their “Here They Come!” LP a few months later, complete with Uncle Paul’s sustained-forever-and-then-some opening organ chord (sorta the exact sonic opposite of how those Beatles ENDED “Sgt. Pepper” …tho away way cooler, needless to say). And the rest, they say? History!

“ALL NIGHT LONG” (The Dave Clark Five, 1966)
As if “Try Too Hard” on the A-side wasn’t proof enough that the Tottenham Sound was alive and extremely well even in that heady year of “Face To Face,” “Blonde On Blonde” and “Both Sides Of Herman’s Hermits,” flip its original seven inches over and you then discovered THIS thoroughly unhinged three minutes of wordless bash, crash, and even proto-thrash. Whenever anyone still dares to diss the DC5 within my earshot, I simply remove the nearest Who album and throw “All Night Long” on instead. That’ll always end THAT particular debate …or at least thoroughly drown out all discouraging words! God bless Dave, Mike, Lenny, Denny and Rick.

“DOGS, PART TWO” (The Who, 1969)
But no, The Who were cool too …at least in 1969 they still were. Whenever stuck for THEIR flipsides, Pete T. and his modly crew would quite often turn to their most brilliant member (a certain Mr. Moon, need I remind anyone), and within a few minutes the job would be spectacularly accomplished. THIS particular raver – originally credited to the band’s pet dogs (though I hope Keith’s estate are by now collecting all royalties duly due) – actually appeared on the backside of no less than “Pinball Wizard.” And ya know what? I STILL think Keith’s song’s the better of the two! [also highly recommended: “Dogs” (Part One), one of the few rock ‘n’ roll songs about greyhound betting ever committed to vinyl]

“LET’S GO TRIPPIN’,” live version (Dick Dale, 1983)
Of course, absolutely no overview of instrumental rock can be considered complete without due inclusion of the King of the Surf Guitar. And while his brazen accomplishments really do deserve a Top Ten of their very own, I personally must single out not the ORIGINAL version of this surf-rockin’ classic, but this here rendition recorded years later within the extremely legendary Golden Bear club in Huntington Beach, CA. Why this particular “Trippin’,” you may well be asking Mr. Pig? Well, because this is exactly how I remember it sounding when I myself first saw Dick do it – whilst actually standing barefoot astride my ringside tabletop!! -- at the very same Golden Bear in question one magical musical night long long ago. This King is still touring too, you better believe it, so go see (and hear) for yourself someday exactly how much instrumental rock is more than alive. Just remember to clear off your table first.